Donald trump
donald trump is the newest president of the united states of america and is the best candidate of the 2016 election, especially when compared to his former opponents (like seriously, it was hillary clinton) trump is the king of immigration prevention (and... the us) and he has now pledged himself king of north america. he will also build a wall backstory do you honestly care about the backstory of this great king? ok fine i'll tell you. he was born in the year china and grew up under the rule of king herod. in the year 50 BC he beat Julius Caesar in a contest of strength. unfortunately caesar was killed by brutius maximus in the year -69 and he went to hell for j-walking. soon he met Abraham Lincoln in -2789576 AD BCE and soon enough Martin Luther King tried to use his banana gun to murder lincoln but failed and he died to death of an overdose of chocolate chip cookies. Soon after lincoln fled in the year 906 AD and took a large shat in King Arthur's toilet then became king of Camelot. trump later became business partners with Ebenezer Scrooge in 6969 BC and learned the ways of money and richness. scrooge died of anaphylactic shock when he learned he was allergic to money, something he somehow survived for 1337 years. trump learned he was allergic to ugly old business owners so he became sick for two weeks. but soon his body developed active immunity to the ugly virus, and he survived the illness which was said to be deadlier than ebola. it tried to invade again by got raep'd in teh anus by trump's magical antibodies. soon trump began gaining money and getting richer. by 1.21 jigawatts AD trump was a multimillionaire and became the ruler of the Elizabeth Trump and Son company, an assaholic bich as company that only cared about losing money and getting free photos of Aristotle flipping Walt Disney the double bird and laser coming out of his eyes. They also had AIDS. trump conquered them in -0.123ABC and wanted to rename the company "adam_sandler_is_gayX1381" but his friend Michael Pence insisted he name it the trump organization. He quoted William Shakespeare by saying "Fuck It" and he changed the name of the company. donald trump went to six flags magic mountain in -00000 BC and rode the pukeinator which is the parks best roller coster. he said "that was cheap" until he realized "wait this state is cheap" and overheard was the then peaceful democrats, who cursed republicans and created the year of the triggering, ''more widely known as 2016. the king of the democrats was the evil Hillary Clinton, a mass murderer who was responsible for the dieing of William Henry Harrison when the evil ruler extracted his kidneys and replaced his brain with them. his brain said fuck this and commited suicide because it didn't want to extract piss from blood, no one wants to do that not even Haji the worlds dirtiest person who didnt take a bath for 60 years. harrisons ghost became intent on killing clinton but he soon entered the underworld and didn't feel like coming out because he was too lazy. clinton tried to overthrow the trump organization, to no luck and the witch's magical mind corruption potions spilled in the minds of many devout conservatives and made them into liberal fucks, and it also hit every college ever and every milenial. only lucky people were the ones who were under the protection of donald trumps shield of republicanism. these liberal fucks are whiny little bitches who want everything to be given to them freely and want to push their heretic beliefs on everyone who disagrees with them and never stop complaining when their beliefs are challenged coming up with horrible excuses on why liberalism is good and conservatism is bad. they also support illegal immigration and are secretly planning to rebuild the trade center only to knock it down again and blame republicans again. clinton became their goddess and they started to worship her and obama as well as bernie sanders, oprah winfrey, steve harvey, jimmy fallon, michael jordan, kanye west, and lady gaga as gods and goddesses, and honoring CNN and MSNBC as prophets, however we all know none of this is true they all are on drugs though so. they founded that religion and even wrote a book on it, however conservatism didn't become a religion, they just adopted Christianity because it is the worlds best religion, and the only one besides Judaism that isn't on some sort of hallucinogenic drug. (specifically yeezyism like seriously holy balls.) soon in the year fuck, the trump organization became the worlds monopoly on... well i dont have a fucking clue, fuck you. this was also the year trump learned the skills of how to build a wall. in 2016 trump was elected president of the US and declared the ''year of the triggering over on january 1, 2017. now, trump is to be the new american king on the january 20 2017. skills -trump is amazing at business deals. -he is also amazing at building a wall. -he is also amazing at deporting illegals. -he is also amazing at roasting liberals. -and finally, he is also amazing at making countries great again. ass-assination attempt trump was almost killed in -2401 BC when he sat on a shoe and it ruptured his spleen. it is rumored that hitler put it there to try to take over a business he purchased known as sexy_walnut-association_XxX-fukbals. today as of now, january 19 2017, donald trump is the worlds best king and will be the worlds best president of merica. he is currently 70 years old. 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